Overcoming Fussy Eating in Toddlers and Children

We all have our likes and dislikes and we all know what we fancy one particular day we might not on another. Kids are the same but since they are not in charge of the shopping list and do not cook the dinners they do not have a lot of say in the matter. However it is not feasible for a choice of dishes at each mealtime, to cater for everyone in your family. Here are some of my tips that I have learned in helping my children to have a wide variety of tastes and to eat the meals I put in front of them:

• Weaning

I have been told that children should be introduced to many different tastes before the age of 2 to help avoid fussy eating. Therefore from the moment that I started to wean my children I introduced a wide variety of tastes, obviously within the guidelines of what is recommended in weaning. I started with just one taste like sweet potatoes and then started adding mixtures such as carrot and swede and apple and pear. This then lead onto meals such as mashed up roast dinner, soups and spaghetti bolognaise. I make all my meals from scratch to ensure that there is a low salt content in them.

• Introduce a new taste 10 times

I found it very interesting to find out that it can take up to 10 tries of a taste before a child likes it. I wouldn’t like to say this will always work but I do say to my children that ‘You do not have to eat it all but I would like to see you try it.’ There are things that my children do not like but if we have it as part of a meal I will always put a little bit of it on their plates to try. My son who is 4 years old has changed his mind on quite a few foods. Not so long ago he was adamant that he did not like mushrooms. I persevered in getting him to try them and now he likes them. This has happened a few times in the last year with different foods so it is well worth trying this method. The important thing is that your child is aware that they will not get told off for not liking it or be forced to eat it.

• Hidden Vegetables

I am sure many Mums use this method, I know mine did on many occasions. Pureed Soups are fantastic for adding extra vegetables to try and get all those vitamins and minerals into your child. I also add vegetables to a macaroni cheese such as onions, carrots, cauliflower and broccoli although not all at the same time. Cheese sauce does make the vegetables more palatable for children although not very healthy so best only used sparingly!

I also add extra vegetables to stews and tomatoes based pasta sauces. If they are finely chopped or whizzed up in a pasta sauce, they are not always distinguishable. Another fun way to add fruit and vegetables to diets are to make smoothes, I do not tend to do this too much as it can work out expensive. However frozen fruit and some lemonade can make a rather refreshing drink on a hot summers day!

• Make Food Fun

Making a picture out of the food can also help to make it more appealing to a child such as a smiley face on a pizza or a picture on a plate of something they like. This will bring out the artistic side of you!

Let your child if they are young i.e. 1 years or under, play with their food. I found this hard to do and got a bit fretful over the mess, however children love to feel things and this is part of their learning. Therefore allowing your child to explore their food may also help them to like it.

• Get the Children Cooking

  Both my 4 year old and 2 year old enjoy helping me in the kitchen. Obviously there are limitations in what they can to do and adult supervision is a must and can be challenging. However it is worth it to take the time on a regular basis to spend time with your child or children in the kitchen. The other day I had my son adding chopped vegetables to and stirring the pasta sauce as well as chopping the strawberries for desert. My 2 year old helps out by handing me things, laying some of the table and whisking or stirring cold foods.
My children love to know that they have been involved in making the food they are about to eat. They also have taste the foods we are cooking as we do it, which expands their taste experience without always realising it.

• Give the Some Choice

  On a weekly basis I plan out our meals for my shopping list and I ask my children for any suggestions. I generally allow 1 meal a week, which will soon be 2 meals when my 2 year old starts to make suggestions. This makes my son feel part of the meal planning and he really enjoys it when I make his suggestion, which is not always unhealthy!

• Eating Together

 We nearly always eat together as a family. We are fortunate that we are able to do this as it is not always possible for some families. Our children do eat a bit later than other children to facilitate this due to the time I come in from work. However we can generally get to sit down for our meal at 5.45. If your children see you eating your food from a young age then they will naturally try the foods your eating and copy you. It is a very sociable time and great to catch up on what has happened in the day and to relax before the bedtime routine kicks in. This is something that we have always done and the fact that the bedtime routine starts soon after we finish our meal does not seem to bother my children.

• Fussy Eating Stage

Most children will go through a fussy eating stage. Both my children were great throughout the weaning stage and they ate most things I gave them. However both of them between the ages of 18 - 24 months became fussy. I got through this stage by sticking to my rules and not making different meals. My children know that if they do not eat their dinner then there will be not desert. They also know that there is always fruit available and I will put on some toast before bed so that I do not let them go hungry. I am fortunate that both my children are not fond of this arrangement so will generally eat their meal.

These suggestions are to help encourage your child to develop new tastes. Some will work for you and your child and others will not. However parenting is all about trial and error and learning through experience. I always keep in mind that there are foods that I really do not like and would hate to be forced to eat them, so I try not to get too angry when I hear the words ‘I don’t like it.’ As the parent you will know whether it could be genuine or just a ‘I do not fancy it today’ scenario. I would also be unhappy if I was forced to eat a large portion of food if I was not feeling that hungry. Therefore if my children have not finished what I have given them I will make a judgement to see I think it is enough or encourage them by saying 'just 5 more mouthfuls

What I do not like to do is make separate meals and on the whole we tend to eat the same, however on occasion I will adjust what I make. For example my children do not like salads so if we have a salad then I will make some vegetables for my children to eat instead However they always have a little salad on their plates! Fussy eating can make mealtimes can be full of frustration and is not enjoyable, I hope some of my suggestions helps to make your mealtimes easier and better.

Making Friends with Children

I moved up to Scotland when I was 25 only knowing my husband and having had a few meetings with some of his family and 2 of his friends. I made friends when I moved up here through work, however I rarely met up with them outside of work. It was only when I had my children that I began to make strong friendships within the areas I lived.
Join Groups

Through my experience it appears like you need to join a breast feeding support group to make friends, however any group where Mums, babies and toddlers congregate will provide opportunities to make friends. Local libraries and health centres will have leaflets and posters advertising groups in your area. Making friends may not happen straight away, you may need to go to the group a number of times. I also find that some groups are not as friendly as others, so it will be some trial and error. Remember though, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I have lived in 2 different areas with each of my maternity leaves. I apprehensively went to the Breast Feeding Group, with my 1^st child as I really needed the breast feeding support, however after attending a few sessions I made a few close friends.  My group of friends soon grew to 5 when I started going to another Mother and Baby group in my area.

I lived in a different area when I had my 2^nd child and after such a positive experience in making friends through the support group with my 1^st child I decided to go to one in my new area. Disappointingly I did not find it easy to make friends who were wanting to continue a friendship outside the breast feeding group, but this did not deter me. I had heard about an afternoon group called Yummy Mummys offering tea, cake and a chat with the children. Sounded perfect and I was right to go along. I now have 4 close friends in the area I currently live in.

I live 17 miles away from the area where I made my first group of friend but I regularly meet up with both sets of friends with and without the children. I value their friendship and this has made living away from my family easier.

　

Make the first move

Do not be shy, I know this is easier said than done. There will be many Mums out there who want to make friends. Most of my close friends have lived in the area that they have had their child for many years and already had close friends, however they too wanted friends with children of similar age. So if you get on well with someone at a group invite them to yours for a coffee, or suggest meeting up at the park, or going out to the local café for a coffee and a cake.

With my first child I met up with my friends 2 to 3 times a week, either going for a walk, having a coffee round at my house or over at their house. It was a fantastic time and we still meet up regularly 4 years on.

I also meet up at least every 2 to 3 weeks with the friends I have made with my 2^nd child, we take it in turns to host a wine and nibble night, where the husband of the host acts as a taxi home. I also try and attend the weekly Mums group, however what with working, nursery and household commitments this does not always happen. The good thing is that there is always a wine night to look forward to and sometimes we organise a family day with the husbands and children.

Barriers to Friendships

For me there are a few reasons that make keeping friends hard.

• Time: When I was on maternity leave, time was not an issue, I could nearly always make time to get to a mums group, invite people round or meet up with people at their house or at a local soft play. I now find time a major issue, I work 3 days a week and find the 2 weekdays that I am off work filled with spending some quality time with the children, taking and picking up my little boy from nursery, housework and taking my 4 year old to swimming as well as other things such a trip to the Dentist.
• Tidy House: The biggest hindrance for me was thinking that my house had to be immaculate, which I found hard to do with a baby and then a toddler and baby. Just remember that everyone is different and if they have children, they will understand if there is toy mess around the house. I must admit I still stress about cleaning and tidying the house prior to people visiting but wish I was more relaxed about it as I know that none of my friends would judge me.

I have a mixture of friends who work and who do not and we all have other commitments so it is important that you try and make time to keep up friendships. They form such as important part in life and helps to keep sanity, especially when children, husbands and life in general puts you to the test. Friends are there to listen to you, to be listened to and to give support and advice. It is also a way to share baby stories from pregnancy, birth and funny moments as it is these friends that will appreciate your stories.