Overcoming Fussy Eating in Toddlers and Children

We all have our likes and dislikes and we all know what we fancy one particular day we might not on another. Kids are the same but since they are not in charge of the shopping list and do not cook the dinners they do not have a lot of say in the matter. However it is not feasible for a choice of dishes at each mealtime, to cater for everyone in your family. Here are some of my tips that I have learned in helping my children to have a wide variety of tastes and to eat the meals I put in front of them:

• Weaning

I have been told that children should be introduced to many different tastes before the age of 2 to help avoid fussy eating. Therefore from the moment that I started to wean my children I introduced a wide variety of tastes, obviously within the guidelines of what is recommended in weaning. I started with just one taste like sweet potatoes and then started adding mixtures such as carrot and swede and apple and pear. This then lead onto meals such as mashed up roast dinner, soups and spaghetti bolognaise. I make all my meals from scratch to ensure that there is a low salt content in them.

• Introduce a new taste 10 times

I found it very interesting to find out that it can take up to 10 tries of a taste before a child likes it. I wouldn’t like to say this will always work but I do say to my children that ‘You do not have to eat it all but I would like to see you try it.’ There are things that my children do not like but if we have it as part of a meal I will always put a little bit of it on their plates to try. My son who is 4 years old has changed his mind on quite a few foods. Not so long ago he was adamant that he did not like mushrooms. I persevered in getting him to try them and now he likes them. This has happened a few times in the last year with different foods so it is well worth trying this method. The important thing is that your child is aware that they will not get told off for not liking it or be forced to eat it.

• Hidden Vegetables

I am sure many Mums use this method, I know mine did on many occasions. Pureed Soups are fantastic for adding extra vegetables to try and get all those vitamins and minerals into your child. I also add vegetables to a macaroni cheese such as onions, carrots, cauliflower and broccoli although not all at the same time. Cheese sauce does make the vegetables more palatable for children although not very healthy so best only used sparingly!

I also add extra vegetables to stews and tomatoes based pasta sauces. If they are finely chopped or whizzed up in a pasta sauce, they are not always distinguishable. Another fun way to add fruit and vegetables to diets are to make smoothes, I do not tend to do this too much as it can work out expensive. However frozen fruit and some lemonade can make a rather refreshing drink on a hot summers day!

• Make Food Fun

Making a picture out of the food can also help to make it more appealing to a child such as a smiley face on a pizza or a picture on a plate of something they like. This will bring out the artistic side of you!

Let your child if they are young i.e. 1 years or under, play with their food. I found this hard to do and got a bit fretful over the mess, however children love to feel things and this is part of their learning. Therefore allowing your child to explore their food may also help them to like it.

• Get the Children Cooking

  Both my 4 year old and 2 year old enjoy helping me in the kitchen. Obviously there are limitations in what they can to do and adult supervision is a must and can be challenging. However it is worth it to take the time on a regular basis to spend time with your child or children in the kitchen. The other day I had my son adding chopped vegetables to and stirring the pasta sauce as well as chopping the strawberries for desert. My 2 year old helps out by handing me things, laying some of the table and whisking or stirring cold foods.
My children love to know that they have been involved in making the food they are about to eat. They also have taste the foods we are cooking as we do it, which expands their taste experience without always realising it.

• Give the Some Choice

  On a weekly basis I plan out our meals for my shopping list and I ask my children for any suggestions. I generally allow 1 meal a week, which will soon be 2 meals when my 2 year old starts to make suggestions. This makes my son feel part of the meal planning and he really enjoys it when I make his suggestion, which is not always unhealthy!

• Eating Together

 We nearly always eat together as a family. We are fortunate that we are able to do this as it is not always possible for some families. Our children do eat a bit later than other children to facilitate this due to the time I come in from work. However we can generally get to sit down for our meal at 5.45. If your children see you eating your food from a young age then they will naturally try the foods your eating and copy you. It is a very sociable time and great to catch up on what has happened in the day and to relax before the bedtime routine kicks in. This is something that we have always done and the fact that the bedtime routine starts soon after we finish our meal does not seem to bother my children.

• Fussy Eating Stage

Most children will go through a fussy eating stage. Both my children were great throughout the weaning stage and they ate most things I gave them. However both of them between the ages of 18 - 24 months became fussy. I got through this stage by sticking to my rules and not making different meals. My children know that if they do not eat their dinner then there will be not desert. They also know that there is always fruit available and I will put on some toast before bed so that I do not let them go hungry. I am fortunate that both my children are not fond of this arrangement so will generally eat their meal.

These suggestions are to help encourage your child to develop new tastes. Some will work for you and your child and others will not. However parenting is all about trial and error and learning through experience. I always keep in mind that there are foods that I really do not like and would hate to be forced to eat them, so I try not to get too angry when I hear the words ‘I don’t like it.’ As the parent you will know whether it could be genuine or just a ‘I do not fancy it today’ scenario. I would also be unhappy if I was forced to eat a large portion of food if I was not feeling that hungry. Therefore if my children have not finished what I have given them I will make a judgement to see I think it is enough or encourage them by saying 'just 5 more mouthfuls

What I do not like to do is make separate meals and on the whole we tend to eat the same, however on occasion I will adjust what I make. For example my children do not like salads so if we have a salad then I will make some vegetables for my children to eat instead However they always have a little salad on their plates! Fussy eating can make mealtimes can be full of frustration and is not enjoyable, I hope some of my suggestions helps to make your mealtimes easier and better.

Making Friends with Children

I moved up to Scotland when I was 25 only knowing my husband and having had a few meetings with some of his family and 2 of his friends. I made friends when I moved up here through work, however I rarely met up with them outside of work. It was only when I had my children that I began to make strong friendships within the areas I lived.
Join Groups

Through my experience it appears like you need to join a breast feeding support group to make friends, however any group where Mums, babies and toddlers congregate will provide opportunities to make friends. Local libraries and health centres will have leaflets and posters advertising groups in your area. Making friends may not happen straight away, you may need to go to the group a number of times. I also find that some groups are not as friendly as others, so it will be some trial and error. Remember though, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I have lived in 2 different areas with each of my maternity leaves. I apprehensively went to the Breast Feeding Group, with my 1^st child as I really needed the breast feeding support, however after attending a few sessions I made a few close friends.  My group of friends soon grew to 5 when I started going to another Mother and Baby group in my area.

I lived in a different area when I had my 2^nd child and after such a positive experience in making friends through the support group with my 1^st child I decided to go to one in my new area. Disappointingly I did not find it easy to make friends who were wanting to continue a friendship outside the breast feeding group, but this did not deter me. I had heard about an afternoon group called Yummy Mummys offering tea, cake and a chat with the children. Sounded perfect and I was right to go along. I now have 4 close friends in the area I currently live in.

I live 17 miles away from the area where I made my first group of friend but I regularly meet up with both sets of friends with and without the children. I value their friendship and this has made living away from my family easier.

　

Make the first move

Do not be shy, I know this is easier said than done. There will be many Mums out there who want to make friends. Most of my close friends have lived in the area that they have had their child for many years and already had close friends, however they too wanted friends with children of similar age. So if you get on well with someone at a group invite them to yours for a coffee, or suggest meeting up at the park, or going out to the local café for a coffee and a cake.

With my first child I met up with my friends 2 to 3 times a week, either going for a walk, having a coffee round at my house or over at their house. It was a fantastic time and we still meet up regularly 4 years on.

I also meet up at least every 2 to 3 weeks with the friends I have made with my 2^nd child, we take it in turns to host a wine and nibble night, where the husband of the host acts as a taxi home. I also try and attend the weekly Mums group, however what with working, nursery and household commitments this does not always happen. The good thing is that there is always a wine night to look forward to and sometimes we organise a family day with the husbands and children.

Barriers to Friendships

For me there are a few reasons that make keeping friends hard.

• Time: When I was on maternity leave, time was not an issue, I could nearly always make time to get to a mums group, invite people round or meet up with people at their house or at a local soft play. I now find time a major issue, I work 3 days a week and find the 2 weekdays that I am off work filled with spending some quality time with the children, taking and picking up my little boy from nursery, housework and taking my 4 year old to swimming as well as other things such a trip to the Dentist.
• Tidy House: The biggest hindrance for me was thinking that my house had to be immaculate, which I found hard to do with a baby and then a toddler and baby. Just remember that everyone is different and if they have children, they will understand if there is toy mess around the house. I must admit I still stress about cleaning and tidying the house prior to people visiting but wish I was more relaxed about it as I know that none of my friends would judge me.

I have a mixture of friends who work and who do not and we all have other commitments so it is important that you try and make time to keep up friendships. They form such as important part in life and helps to keep sanity, especially when children, husbands and life in general puts you to the test. Friends are there to listen to you, to be listened to and to give support and advice. It is also a way to share baby stories from pregnancy, birth and funny moments as it is these friends that will appreciate your stories.

Some tips that helped me to Breastfeed Succesfully

I would like to share with you some must have tips on how to make breastfeeding easier. I have breastfed both of my children for their first year and I am also a Children’s Nurse who works in Public Health. This has given me a valuable insight into breastfeeding from a professional and personal experience. I did not find breastfeeding easy initially and did consider giving up, however I am so pleased that I persevered and would like to think that I may inspire other people to continue breastfeeding after reading some of my tips:
Be Prepared
Most Maternity units have breast feeding workshops. Through attending these workshops it gives you an idea as to what to expect, what equipment you may need and some useful tips to help you when your baby arrives. Reading up about breastfeeding, the good points and negative ones, will also help you to be realistic about what to expect.
Going to Support Groups
I found joining breastfeeding support groups invaluable. I have met some of my closest friends there, who I still socialise with regularly. When I initially joined the support group I just wanted advice. I had no friends and little family at the time to support me as I lived 400 miles away from my home. I also had the added pressure of close people telling me the negatives of breastfeeding and how I should bottle feed!
To top it off I had cracked nipples as well and a baby who seemed to constantly want to feed. I wanted to know that this was normal and that things would get better from people who were or who had been through the same.
Practice Makes Perfect
You would think that breastfeeding would be the easiest thing to do since it is the way nature intended us to feed our babies. However it can take weeks for both you and your baby to learn this skill. It usually takes 3-6 weeks, so please do not be deterred if it doesn't happen straight away.
Once you and your baby have mastered it, you'll be so glad that you persevered. The great thing is that you always have milk at the right temperature on tap. No need to sterilise, no need to heat up and no need to make up. When your baby asks for the milk you can give it without the wait!
Breastfeeding and Pain
Breastfeeding should not hurt. Some people find the letdown painful for a few seconds. I use to get an uncomfortable feeling for 10-20 seconds, but I found this comforting knowing that the milk was coming through. Don't be alarmed if you do not feel the let down, not everyone does.
Cracked nipples and mastitis are conditions that can cause pain and these are explained next.
Cracked Nipples
When I had cracked nipples it brought tears to my eyes every time my son latched on.
Here is how I got through it:
a. I bought some bottles and some cartons of formula milk and sat them next to a steriliser. The thought that if the pain got too much I had a back up, helped me.
b. After every feed I rubbed breast milk around my nipple as this has natural healing properties.
c. I bought some nipple shields, which helped to protect my nipples under my clothes but I was unable to feed with them.
d. I found lansinoh cream the best. I used a couple of cheaper brands, however I made my husband spend the money on this cream and found it worth it.
e. I tried to express milk from the breast with cracked nipples as this was not as painful as feeding from it. However I gave up on this as I found it difficult to express more than an ounce of milk.It took me a week of doing the above before the pain had disappeared and was hard going. However after a few days it did start to get easier, which spurred me onto continue.
Mastitis
This is when the breast becomes red, inflamed and painful. It usually only affects 1 breast and some women get flu like symptoms. Although you may not feel like it, breastfeeding helps to clear mastitis quickly by removing any blocked milk from the breast and to also help prevent the mastitis from getting more serious. Therefore breast feeding more frequently and expressing any left over breast milk can help.
In some cases mastitis can be infectious and requires prompt treatment. Therefore advice should be sought from Health Visitor or GP particularly if you feel unwell or have a temperature with it.
I experienced mild mastitis after I stopped breast feeding due to blocked ducts. I found massaging my breasts in hot baths helped ease the pain. Although I did need antibiotics to help clear the infection.
Involve Your Partner
Some people express their breast milk for the father to feed their baby. This will not only allow vital bonding between the baby and Dad it also allows the Mum some me time. Another positive of this method is that you will be able to allow a family member to baby sit so that you can get out with your partner to keep your relationship strong. Both of my children refused the bottle, which meant that on my wedding day I was breastfeeding my 16 week old. This is not easy in a wedding dress!
My husband got involved by bathing our children. He would get in the bath with baby number 1 and then baby number 2 when she was born. This allowed me to catch up with anything that I needed to do.
Thinking Ahead
Every time I sat down to breastfeed I would realise that I had forgotten something, usually a glass of water. Here are some items to have to hand before a breastfeed:
a. A comfy chair and foot stool
b. A pillow to support the baby when feeding.
c. A large drink.
d. A snack
e. Something to do i.e. tv remote, book or magazine
Breastfeeding in Public
With my 1st child it took me 4 weeks to feel comfortable to feed him outside my home. However with my 2nd I was out breastfeeding at my local coffee shop when she was 4 days old. Being able to breastfeed in front of friends and family and feeling comfortable going out and breastfeeding in a cafe or restaurant is important. It allows you to get out and not have to panic when a feed is due.


Again everyone is different so if you can not bear the thought of breastfeeding out in public then here are a few places I have been to, which cater for those who would like to breast feed in private.
a. Most Mothercares
b. Some big boots stores
c. Most large shopping centres
d. Most health centres
e. Many motorway service stationsEnjoy
Breastfeeding is quality time with your baby. I found this such an enjoyable time and look back on it fondly. I was pleased to give breastfeeding up after a year with both of my children, however it was this part that made me feel sad to stop.
Breastfeeding also makes you sleepy, which is fab if you are having difficulty in getting to sleep. I found it very useful the night before my wedding!
Remember
If you can not breastfeed or do not want to breastfeed then do not beat yourself up. Plenty of people feed their babies formula milk and they grow into healthy and intelligent children.
Good Luck to all of you, whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, being a parent is the hardest but best job in the world.

Home Sick

I was born and brought up in London, my parents, brother and sister still live in London, my maternal Grandparents live in Dorset and the majority of my Dad’s family live in Cornwall. As a child I spent most of my school holidays in Cornwall and always longed to live there. Once I had qualified as a Children’s Nurse I started working in London gaining a variety of experience in a variety of hospitals whilst saving up to be able to afford a house in Cornwall. However plans change, my boyfriend and I of over 6 years split up and 6 months later whilst on holiday with a friend of mine I met my husband. We moved in together after 8 months and lived in Brighton for a while, a place I found that I loved to live in and the need to move down to Cornwall did not bother me anymore.
It was in December 2004 that my Husband and I moved to Scotland. We moved for my Husbands career and as a nurse I did not think it would be that hard to get a job. A promise of my Husbands job progressing with the view that we would be able to afford holidays abroad at least 2 times a year and that when we start a family I would be able to give up work and be a housewife. This lifestyle appealed to me and having been up to Scotland a few times and enjoyed it, I thought why not?

Why Not….. My Husbands family have been great, couldn’t have wished for a more welcoming family of in-laws and I did not feel home sick at all when I first moved up to Scotland. We have moved around 3 times since we have moved to Scotland to different places around Glasgow. I love it where we are now, the town is a small, with a castle ruins, some shops that cater for peoples daily needs and for any tourists that may visit the town. The Schools in the area are of a fantastic standard and my son who has already started Nursery School at one of the Primary Schools loves it. I have also made some really nice friends through a Mums group run 1 afternoon week at the local Church. This is not to mention the lovely group of friends that I still meet up with in the place where I use to stay, which I made when Alistair was a baby. I also only work 3 days a week in a job as a School Nurse, I get all the school holidays, get on well with my colleagues and actually do not mind the work.

Despite all I have going for me here, I still miss home, I still feel that my home is in the South East of England. I have been the driving force behind the moves in Scotland trying to find a place that I would call home. But I feel that I am not going to get anywhere better than where I live now, everything that I would like in a home I have, but I still do not feel at home!

I want to stop that desire of wanting to live elsewhere, the looking on right move to assess house prices in for that all important move down South. Then the searching for jobs. It sounds completely and utterly mad, I want to move away from a decent size 3 bedroom house with large front and back gardens, where there are parks at either side of the road, where the schools are good and the town is pretty, in a rural location with good local amenities and not too far away from Glasgow. My Husband does not want to move to the South East of England and his welcoming family are only a short drive away. Yet since I fell pregnant with my son I have longed to be home. It hurts when I think of the 400 miles between my parents and I, I crave a closer relationship with my brother and sister and I long to be nearer the rest of my family in the South. Most of all I feel at home in the South-East, be it London or Brighton. I just hope one day that I will feel at home here…..

So Cute

I was washing up the lunch dishes today and thought after 5 minutes that it was very quite in the house. This was not too alarming as my husband had taken my son and our dog out for a walk. However I popped into the living room to see what was possibly being quietly dismantled and found Isla fast asleep.

So I finished washing up then sat down on my rocking chair in the living room with a cuppa coffee and a book and enjoyed my 5 minutes peace. Obviously I had to take a picture first, it was soooo cute.....

5 Minutes Peace

When my son was 2 years old my Dad bought him a book called ‘Five Minutes Peace’ by Jill Murphy, Alistair enjoyed this book but the true meaning of the story really struck a cord with me. I love my 2 children more than anything in the world and would never wish that I never had children, however the lack of time that I have to myself is truly evident and at times depressing. I have a boy who is 4 and a 2 year old girl but the constant need to cuddle me, talk to me and play with me leaves me asking at times for just 5 minutes peace, to sit down with a cuppa tea, drink it before it gets cold and read a few pages of a book (which is not a children’s book!). In theory it doesn’t seem that hard, surely a programme on Cbeebies or Nick Junior will give me that time to myself that I crave at times. However the calling of the cooking, tidying and cleaning is always louder and inevitably the cuppa tea and book gets put off, or the tea gets made with the intention to drink it whilst cooking, cleaning, hanging out washing etc and invariably is cold when you get round to drinking it!

Then there are the evenings when the children are in their beds sleeping, which in our household is generally by 8 when the living room becomes our quite sanctuary, but no, there is the final tidy up of the day to be done, then the ironing and possibly cleaning the bathroom etc. On the days where the household chores do not need to be done then I feel the need to go to the gym.

It is not as bad a picture as I have painted I do usually get to watch an hour or 2 of TV of the evening, generally whilst do other things and I also do manage on the whole at least 30 minutes in the evenings with a coffee and sometimes a wee naughty treat before doing anything.

I ask myself am I selfish, do I need time to myself to do nothing? I am not the only person with this lifestyle and many have it worse that me, I have a husband who helps out and only 2 children, nothing out of the ordinary. I remember life prior to having children when my housework didn’t seem a chore, money was available to spend on non essentials and a quite hour went by with no need to rejoice in the peacefulness that was just experienced! Life changes suddenly when babies come on to the scene and nothing can prepare you for how big that change is.

I have learnt so much about myself and I have really learned to appreciate peace and quite, spontaneity and money in ways that I never felt possible. My life has been enhanced by having children and I am so lucky to be blessed with 2 healthy children who are generally very good, kind loving children. I would not change them for anything and I have a lifetime of learning about my children ahead of me. I would also feel totally devestated if my children didn't want cuddles, kisses and my attention.  However it still doesn’t mean that I do not at times crave 5 minutes peace!

The Beginning

I met my Scottish husband on holiday and at the time I was living in London and he was living 70 miles away.  After living together for a while I was still madly in love with this bloke who mad me laugh and feel attractive and loved. A job offer up in Scotland for my partner prompted our move to Glasgow.  We quickly bought a house, got engaged, had a baby, got married and had another baby.  It is only when falling pregnant with my 1st child that I started to feel home sick and life circumstances meant that I was unable to give up work to be a full time Mum. My husband was also against all ideas of moving back to the South East, despite my many protests. This lead to me being a working Mum in a place 400 miles away from where I call home and where my parents and siblings live.

I am a trained children's nurse with a variety of experience in a hospital setting and now working in the community, which I do enjoy.  I thought that through my professional experience that I would find parenting easy, however I have found that my children have put me on a steep learning curve.  My husbands Mum sadly passed away when we moved to Scotland and with my Mum 400 miles away I miss the family support that others seem to have around them.

I am no writer as English was never my strong point so my posts will probably be littered with grammatical and spelling mistakes.  Despite this, I plan to post some of my experiences, with suggestions to help those who may be reading. I hope you find my posts readable, interesting and useful..xx